Mr. Manasquan checks in...

Here's a report from everyone's favorite shore denizen Mr. Manasquan:

Yo whaddup playas? Right off the bat I just want to thank the Hoboken Hammers and Hairy Knucks for lettin me in on their shore crib at the last second. Biggupp's. We really developed a strong bond that night at Lua when that Boriqua was jockin me. Much love for my buttah pecan ricans.

Just wanted to let everyone know how amped I am to be back in Manasquan for my 8th straight summer. I’ve been hittin up the shore club scene since the days of Haddaway and C&C Music Factory. You know how we do. Lately, I’ve been living in Jersey City just collecting unemployment, livin off my Moms, and makin beats for my new house music tracks. Welcome to Detroit Bitches, hahaha. I’ve been a resident DJ at Temps, Merge, and D'Jais a few times in the past so you know I’ll be layin down the hottest shore flava in ya ear, nah mean. Takin’ us to the next level. I'm only a half share this summer but I bring mad game to the table. Usually I just go to the clubs in Belmar and bring back as many bitches as I can fit in my tricked out Scion tC, have that shit lookin like a clown car, nah mean. But this summer it’s on like a light switch as we’re goin all night long to the breaka-breaka dawn. Anyways, to the fellas, this is gonna be a summer you'll never forget, off the meat rack. And to my ladies, it's panty dropping time. Nah mean. Anyways, the rain has been droppin like it’s hot the last few months, kinda putting a damper on the scene, but the block is about to get hot as the warm front is movin in. Like el Nino and shit...shit....

I’ve just been training hard as hell up at New York Sports in Hoboken with Mario from 10th and Willow. Mario hooked up a nice training regimen that we’ve been following since March. Here’s what it consists of each day: 600 milligrams of Trim Spa, 6 hard boiled eggs for breakfast with a Metrx Shake, 3 bars of designer whey protein, two 16 oz vitamin waters for lunch (Dragonfruit/Power), and for dinner 2 steaks and a side order of laxatives. No snacking. Mario says snacking is for pygmies. Also, we work out 5 hours a day with free weights and various balance inducing exercises. 3 hours are devoted to lifting chest and biceps; because you know when I’m on the beach I wanna be looking like I’m carrying around two 30-Packs. The other two hours are devoted to various exercises to develop skill and coordination for dancing. I’ve got some killer two-step hops and glow stick routines in my repertoire. For the last two hours of the workout we do garbage can jumps to sure up our dexterity and also medicine ball twists to work the abs. My boy who starred in The Real Cancun and was an extra in Save The Last Dance uses the same workout and says chicks have been all over his jock, booyah!….

Anyways, I’m about to head out to GNC, but look for my next report about Jersey Shore Nightlife coming soon, and remember this….The Jersey Shore is my medicine and I'm bout to OD.